The second semester was over, we students had our bags packed and were each awaiting some family member or friend to come and pick us up. For most of the students it was a summer break; for me it was an ending and a beginning. An unexpected beginning, but clearly the Hand of God was there to catch me, when I had very little idea what was next. I had made the hard decision, and I wasn't coming back. The desire to find God, wherever He was, consumed me and superseded the rest of my ambitions. I had come to understand that I couldn't "help the world be a better place" if I didn't even know how to help my own soul. How could I give what I didn't even have? I had a few vague ideas of the next steps of my searching journey; in retrospect I can say honestly that none of them were good ones.
It says in the Scriptures "Where sin abounded, Grace did much more abound."* How very true. God sent to me that day a Guardian Angel, in the form of a rough-hewn, life-weary, bearded philosopher, in janitor's attire.
I had spoken to Daniel before. He was the janitor on the floor of our dorm, and I had known him as a person who could hold an interesting conversation. We didn't know each other any more deeply than that, but on that day, my last day at college, we providentially ran into one another, and God worked through Him to give me the greatest gift of my life. Daniel casually asked, "See you next year?" I answered, "No, I won't be coming back." He looked surprised and said, "Why?" I said, somehow knowing he would understand, "Well, I don't tell many people this, but I want to find God." A very interesting conversation ensued, that I have always, it seems to me, remembered word for word.
"Find God? That's a good pursuit. Let me ask you something: If I wanted to be a champion boxer, would I go to a trainer who had coached many champion boxers, or would I go to one who had trained none or very few?"
"Well of course you would go to the one who had trained many champion boxers." (I had no idea what he was getting at.)
"Yes, and that's the Orthodox Church. For those who want to get to Heaven, She shows them the path to get there, and helps them along the way. And many have made it."
I probably looked at him puzzled and he followed up his explanation with the words that would change my life:
"I am talking about Eastern Christianity, you have never heard of it, and that's not your fault."
I am convinced that God puts certain things and people in our lives at just the right times, to give us the opportunity to find Him and to choose Him. And of course He knows each of our hearts, and hopefully what will get our attention. There is probably not a phrase on earth that would have interested me at that time as much as those two words put together "Eastern Christianity." And he was right, I had never heard of it.
A few weeks after this conversation I would visit an Orthodox Convent and Monastery and hear the words spoken clearly and directly into my soul "The search is over, and the struggle is on."
O blessed words! Over thirty six years later I can say with all my heart, that the search was basically excruciating, and that the "struggle" for Christ's sake, and for my soul's salvation, no matter how hard it is at times, has been, as I said, the greatest gift. It is the difference between wandering through a thorny dark forest, lost, with signs pointing wrongly in every direction, getting cut and beaten, and having no idea what person, animal or phantom may attack or try to mislead. OR walking down a brightly lit and well worn path, with guidance and refreshments, knowing that Angels and Saints are near, and that there are always helping hands and someone to say "Keep going, it's all worth it, there is a Kingdom for you at the end of this journey."
That is a Very Big Difference.
If you want to know what happened next, this is the end of the Introduction four part series, and soon I hope to write a blog on what had been one of my most burning questions "If God is good, how can hell exist?"
* (Romans 5:20)
It says in the Scriptures "Where sin abounded, Grace did much more abound."* How very true. God sent to me that day a Guardian Angel, in the form of a rough-hewn, life-weary, bearded philosopher, in janitor's attire.
I had spoken to Daniel before. He was the janitor on the floor of our dorm, and I had known him as a person who could hold an interesting conversation. We didn't know each other any more deeply than that, but on that day, my last day at college, we providentially ran into one another, and God worked through Him to give me the greatest gift of my life. Daniel casually asked, "See you next year?" I answered, "No, I won't be coming back." He looked surprised and said, "Why?" I said, somehow knowing he would understand, "Well, I don't tell many people this, but I want to find God." A very interesting conversation ensued, that I have always, it seems to me, remembered word for word.
"Find God? That's a good pursuit. Let me ask you something: If I wanted to be a champion boxer, would I go to a trainer who had coached many champion boxers, or would I go to one who had trained none or very few?"
"Well of course you would go to the one who had trained many champion boxers." (I had no idea what he was getting at.)
"Yes, and that's the Orthodox Church. For those who want to get to Heaven, She shows them the path to get there, and helps them along the way. And many have made it."
I probably looked at him puzzled and he followed up his explanation with the words that would change my life:
"I am talking about Eastern Christianity, you have never heard of it, and that's not your fault."
I am convinced that God puts certain things and people in our lives at just the right times, to give us the opportunity to find Him and to choose Him. And of course He knows each of our hearts, and hopefully what will get our attention. There is probably not a phrase on earth that would have interested me at that time as much as those two words put together "Eastern Christianity." And he was right, I had never heard of it.
A few weeks after this conversation I would visit an Orthodox Convent and Monastery and hear the words spoken clearly and directly into my soul "The search is over, and the struggle is on."
O blessed words! Over thirty six years later I can say with all my heart, that the search was basically excruciating, and that the "struggle" for Christ's sake, and for my soul's salvation, no matter how hard it is at times, has been, as I said, the greatest gift. It is the difference between wandering through a thorny dark forest, lost, with signs pointing wrongly in every direction, getting cut and beaten, and having no idea what person, animal or phantom may attack or try to mislead. OR walking down a brightly lit and well worn path, with guidance and refreshments, knowing that Angels and Saints are near, and that there are always helping hands and someone to say "Keep going, it's all worth it, there is a Kingdom for you at the end of this journey."
That is a Very Big Difference.
If you want to know what happened next, this is the end of the Introduction four part series, and soon I hope to write a blog on what had been one of my most burning questions "If God is good, how can hell exist?"
* (Romans 5:20)
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