Skip to main content

Introduction~~Part I


Welcome to my very first post on my very first blog. It was not easy to get to this point, but now that I am here, I am glad that I am, and I am grateful that you are here too.

I once heard that the definition of a writer is someone who "can't help but write." I have found that to be the case with me. I am only truly feeling like I am "in my own skin" when I am praying, reading, and writing. And yet, it takes a lot of courage to finally present something publicly. (Not to mention, it is not easy to navigate around all of the "very easy to do it yourself sites" when technology is not your inclination.)

More than feeling that writing is one of my most natural tendencies, I also know what it is like to suffer. What I especially mean by that is, that I know what it is like to be on this planet, wanting to find meaning and inner peace and wholeness, and needing answers to questions like "Why are we here?" "What is the purpose of life?" "Is there a life after death?" I have a strong sympathy for everyone asking those questions, for everyone needing answers.

My own journey with those questions started at about the time I was seven, and the incident that catalyzed that might be the topic of another blog. But for the purpose of this introduction, that meant that I started actively searching very young, as I'm sure some of you did as well, and if not, maybe you have later on.

This is not mainly about me, but since this is the introduction, perhaps a little background is appropriate. I grew up in a small town and externally had a more or less "normal childhood" in a more or less "normal family" and did what could be considered the usual things--friends, sports, work, study, volunteer work, school organizations, fun & travel, and was considered to be "successful" in my peer group. I say this not to boast, but to say that "underneath it all" those were not the things that truly mattered, because they were not able to bring any real peace and joy. Despite some earthly consolations and "successes", the pain continued, because, after all, if we don't know why we are here, and what we are supposed to be doing while we are here, then it creates a certain amount of justifiable angst. No transient thing, no matter how seemingly positive in the world's eyes, seemed able to fill that hole in my heart and that need in my mind. And, it had to "make sense" and "ring true".... Thankfully I wasn't interested in drowning out the pain, but rather my sincere, and even desperate need for answers,  grew more intense as I grew older, even though on the outside, life went on as life does.

I read quite a bit, I informally interviewed older people to see what they had learned after decades on this planet, I spoke to various established clergy and believers, as well as (I didn't understand it at the time) cult leaders and followers, and also those who professed more material world views—basically anyone who fell anywhere on this broad spectrum of what we would call "beliefs about life". But more and more I felt like a "martian." I was not only having a hard time finding people who could give me answers that really helped, I often did not even find people asking those questions.

So, this blog is for those of you who do have those questions, and who suffer because of that. I will never forget the suffering I experienced those days, and what can come over the soul when it feels like things are "hopeless" and it can't find answers to good questions, like "What is the purpose of this existence?" By my late teens I felt as if I had already lived twice as long, just because I knew that nothing would satisfy my heart and mind other than real answers. My tears and prayers were answered, and  after what really was over a decade of actively searching, I came to find "the Treasure hid in a field" and "the Pearl of Great Price".  And it really is that way. The true answers really are both completely in front of us, and at the same time, "tucked away in a quiet place." One has to really want them.

I am not writing this blog for any reason other than that I care. And that for my own good I need to have an outlet to write. I am not interested in using this blog to make money, to gain any fame, to network, to catalyze debates or offer personal advice, etc.....I only want to reach out and say that there ARE answers. There IS hope. It DOES all make sense. And I hope to share more blogs being able to find ways to explain why I now feel that way.

~If you would like, please continue with Introduction Part II









Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Since God is Love, What is Hell? Part III

GOD IS NOT THE JUDGE, HE IS OUR HELPER. WHAT IS THE ETERNAL REALITY? When I was in my first year of college, I had a job that was convenient both to myself and to those I was working for. Peter was an architect and his wife Jane was a journalist. For most of the year they lived in Washington D.C., where I also went to school, and I was able to babysit for their one baby son by simply taking the metro over to the condominium in which they lived. We had met through a mutual friend of my parents who taught at a male prep school, in a town close to where I grew up. So, when Peter and Jane went to their nice home in the country, I also was usually home from college on vacation. They had, as it were, a traveling babysitter. And I was very happy to do it, needing the extra income and also finding the job pleasant. One time when I was in their condo in D.C. I was perusing through their books, a tendency that has followed me all my life. Although I don't remember their lives or their ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Three Great Commandments Part IV: The Creator of the World Loves Me

Now we know that by loving our selves in the right way, God sees that as if we are fulfilling the commandment to show love to Him. We are each the least of His brethren, and we are created in His Image. He is so gracious, that if we love our own souls, unto salvation, we are loving Him. He created us, He loves us with an unfathomable love, and He is knocking at the door of each of our hearts and asking to come in.  Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me." * He stands at the door of our hearts, and asks to come in. But do we even hear Him knocking? Is it possible to if there is so much noise—in our lives, in our ears, and in our minds? And so much activity, distractions and noise, that the sweet, gentle, loving, humble, kind, pleading Voice of our Saviour, Who wants to show each of us the way to His Kingdom, is drowned out? The first thing we want to do in order to love ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Since God is Love, What is Hell?
Part II

I have a friend who doesn't go to Church for these reasons: Her mom was part of a "name it and claim it" group and ended up making some very bad choices, even dying young. And her memories of going to services involve many "fire and brimstone, you are damned!" type sermons. Looking back at our analogies in Part I, she would be like a person who went out into the sun, got sunburned when she was younger, and thought, "Well, the sun is not a safe place." Her husband says that he believes in Christ, but carries around a heavy burden from having been raised Roman Catholic. He feels guilty about everything. God is "the big man upstairs" (I really detest that phrase, it's so inappropriate) looking over his shoulder all the time. Understandably, he's always worried he doesn't measure up. Basically, for both of them, God is perceived as Unpleasant Company.  And it's a two-edged sword for them, because they do believe in Him, but the...
Post a Comment
Read more